What's next?

2008 is almost over... I'm trying not to think about all the resolutions I failed to keep this year... Didn't lose those extra pounds, didn't finish all the books I wanted to read, etc, etc.

My life, I suppose like everyone's, is in such constant flux. My kids are changing before my eyes. I used to love change, and I still embrace it, but increasingly, the stable things in my life are cherished. Friends I've known for years who are always just a phone call or email away. I'd like to believe my job is a constant but there are too many people I know whose dependable jobs slipped away.

In the weeks and months ahead, friends will have babies, other friends will pass off this scene into eternity. Some friends will experience "success" while others will experience financial hardship.

So what's next? I've learned this year that as part of my personality I get bored easily. I think what's next, is to stop asking what's next. I think that next is to do the things I'm doing with excellence. Enjoy adventures when they come, but I don't need to create drama. Embrace change when it comes, but don't create instability.

2009 might just be the year Jesus comes. I became a Christian in 1975. Does my life reflect 34 years of growth as a Christian? I shrink from that answer. We have begun a trajectory at work that has launched all of us onto a path of discovery and growth. That journey in my life is already having impacts in my relationships, my thinking and work performance. I want to be able to say that in 2009 I became a better person. A better father, a better son, a better husband, a better boss, a better employee, and above all a better follower of Jesus...

So I was challenged reaading this...

Ezra 7:10... I read it the other morning. I don't think I ever noticed it before but check it out... "Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the LORD and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel." How awesome is that? What a great recipe for anyone wanting to be a disciple of Jesus. First get the heart attitude set. Determine to be a "student" of God's word. Then, once you begin studying, set your heart on putting what you learn into practice. Finally, once you're learning and practicing, start creating more disciples by teaching others.

2009 is coming...Isn't that a great time to begin focusing on my heart attitudes... a time to renew my commitment to be a student of the word...

86,400

Today is nearly gone. 86,400 seconds wasted or invested. I cannot save time to use later. I either invested it or wasted it. Those are the only two choices. Now, it's after 11:00 and I should go to bed soon... Tomorrow, I will have another fresh 86,400 seconds to invest or waste. I will sleep away thousands of those precious seconds, then, the children need to be to school by 8:00a. I must be to work by 9:00a. By 6:00p I should be home in time to grab supper then, it's off to Bible study at 8:00p. When I come home after 9:00p... how will I use those last couple hours before bed?

Tonight I listened as a girl, nearly 20 years years younger than me, wept for the lost and described her passion to go and serve in the townships outside Cape Town, South Africa... to go be Jesus to the needy, to bring His love and His message of forgiveness to the AIDS orphans, prostitutes and drunks of Masiphumelele. That mission field is dangerous, smelly, frustrating, and ...

My friend Paul is dying. He is not a young man, but he now knows his heart is nearly completely choked off by hardened arteries. There is nothing the doctors can do. Paul is like a man on fire. Knowing his time is limited, he wants to extract from every day every ounce of value. I don't know that my time is limited, but I don't know that it's not either. God ignite my fire to burn bright for you... Help me invest tomorrow's 86,400 better than I did today.

reminiscence

Reminiscence is the process of recalling past memorable experiences. As we discussed this a the West Michigan Dementia Care Teamwork, I recognized how much I miss spending time doing this with my residents. I'm so thankful and humbled by the gifts God has given me in ministry and being able to touch the lives of seniors, adding life and joy and meaning to their years. How do we get out of our ruts? How do we get out of our offices and routines and invest in the hearts and minds of these dear ones? The tyranny of the urgent is too often the master of our moments.

Two great ideas they shared today I want to implement. One is a Montessori tool, using simple, two or three piece puzzles of faces, especially or children or babies and as the individual puts together the puzzle and sees the face, you try to draw out memories of babies or children from their past. The second is the use of odd pictures that you utilize to attempt to have the residents create a story from.

I need to purpose to implement this time commitment we've been talking about to just be with the people who need me, focusing on their needs and demonstrating the kind of care we want!

The Call

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye

From the Chronicles of Narnia. As sung by the delightful Regina Spektor

Happy Birthday to me...

has it really been a month?

It seems like I am busy all the time, but what am I accomplishing? I have been really blessed reconnecting with a few friends recently, keeping busy at work and provoked in my thinking by some really good conversations.

I can't believe we are already half way through 2008 - and in a month I'll be 39! Like many people, the movie The Bucket List got me thinking about things I'd like to do before I shuffle off this mortal coil. For inspiration and motivation I joined a web-community called 43 things. It's fun seeing the rest of the world's ideas and thinking about which ones you'd like to do.

This summer has been all about house projects. The biggest one so far was doing our patio. It looks sooooo nice now. I can't wait till be can share it more with others. Check out the pictures here http://picasaweb.google.com/aalicb/Patio

Well - it's late but I'll try again to keep this more up to date. thanks for reading!!

Alzheimer's Memory Walk

So work is going pretty fun...

We decided to do the Memory Walk for the Alzheimer's Association and I'm looking for sponsors, and or walkers...

Check out the special, secure site where you can help us reach our goal...

Click below.

http://memorywalkgr.kintera.org/rhh

Toronto

I had a great time in Toronto... well, mostly. It was great to see some of the other guys who do the same job as I do that I have met over the years. And it was great to be with my leadership team for a few days.

Dinner atop the CN tower wasn't too shabby either, and there were great lessons taught on management (HR, Risk, IT etc, etc)

I also started reading a book called Who Moved My Cheese. The jist seems to be "embrace change" Hopefully God isn't preparing me for anything.

Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk Recruitment Video

Please support the Alzheimer's Association. I plan to lead a Rest Haven team in July. If you want to join or support us, please contact me.

on my mind...

Tillie went home to heaven. 96 and strong as an ox except for that stupid heart. She had the spirit of Caleb. I 'm going to miss her... Not many who are that strong willed but still gracious... I want to be that strong and gracious.

She was so positive, upbeat and heavenly minded. I'm jealous that she got to heaven before me.

Taken from outofokapi.blogspot.com

She stands alone at the front of the sparsely filled church. Her weathered face and small, wrinkly hands that shake tell of years spent in the suns of Sudan. Wisdom is etched in her features and is accentuated by the glimmering deep blue wrap she wears; her Sunday finest, fitting for the daughter of a King.
Suddenly, with words much stronger than her small frame should allow, the old woman lifts her voice to sing in a language indistinguishable to me. The song fills the room in high, shrill tones whistled through her many missing teeth. She stands alone, her face wrinkled in joy, and slowly those who understand softly sing along, unwilling to join the old woman, or perhaps simply afraid to stand beside a princess praising her King.
The indistinguishable words continue, intermittently broken by her raspy cough, but nothing will hinder this display of adoration; her boldness knows no shame, nor should it for a child of the King is not afraid.
I watch the old woman, her voice painfully off key to my ears, and I wonder if all the guitars that are tuned and all the pianos played this day will match the praise that I have heard. There are no worship teams, no bands, no projectors, no maestros here to exhilarate the senses. There is only one little wrinkled old woman standing alone, singing through missing teeth, in a language I don’t understand, to a King who is surely in our midst, smiling his approval.

Mark 12:43 ...Truely I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on.

I heard this yesterday...

I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed.

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, or back away.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, live by prayer, and labor with power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, deluded, delayed or discouraged from the call of God.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up and prayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I must go until He comes, preach until all know, and work until He stops me. And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner is clear.

I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed.

Wow! what a challenge.

Sticking with things

Well I finished Numbers tonight. That felt good. And so far I've only missed a couple of days on my 365 Project on Flickr. Seeing as I'm usually not great at keeping at things both of these accomplishments feel pretty good.

A thought from the second to last ch. of Numbers... The Reubenites didn't want to go across the Jordan and enter the Promised Land because of their "flocks". God is calling me to enter into His blessing and experience all the great things He has for me. What is there in my life that I'm holding onto and that keeps me back? Do I have any "flocks" I need to sacrifice so that I'll be ready to go where ever God wants? Any possessions that I'm clinging so tightly to that God can't bless me the way He wants? Hmmmmm, food for thought.

follow up

So I've been doing the 365 portrait thing for just over two weeks... It is really hard to think of creative ideas and to actually take time to "create" images, that is to take pictures and then tweak them digitally is really time consuming. Still, I think it is a great exercise and I still hope it will grow me as a photographer.

Today is the day often known Good Friday. I dunno how good 5 inches of snow can be in the end of March. My fingers are aching to get into the earth. I guess we'll have to wait a bit longer.

Well, I'm falling asleep... I could just go to bed... There is more on my mind that I want tosay but it ll have to hake.

CAUTION - Christians under construction!

Waow! What a day I had today. Along with struggling with my own attitudes, fears and temptations, I had a SHOCKING conversation with a dear old Christian woman this morning.

At the nursing home I run we decided to rearrange the dining room seating chart. Some folks had asked for changes and we thought it might be nice to institute a twice a year change to help folks make new friends...plus for the alert folks who get tired of hearing the same stories every meal, well ...

These two sister however, had a CONNIPTION yesterday when we rolled out the new seating chart. We seated them with two nice guys, one of whom they go to church with... well, after an embarrassing scene in the dining room, I tried to appease them with the promise of a visit. I missed them yesterday so finally went up to chat with them about it this morning.

I couldn't believe my ears. The disdain for overweight people, the mockery of their peers with Parkinson's or other debilitating diseases was unfathomable. I couldn't contain myself and had to rebuke them. I hope I did so in a gentle way because I know I'm far from perfect but this was so ..... waow!

Lord, let my speech be seasoned, as it were, with grace.

better than John Brown

Why do I struggle with contentment so much? I remember reading "Hinds feet on high places" and being struck with how nature reveled in being just what God intended it to be... A stream alway running lower and lower, a blossom lasting just a day or two... Tonight I read in Isaiah 49, "It is too small a thing for you to be my servant?"

I really want that to be enough. And it should be. I mean, wow, look at people clamoring to be the next American Idol, or that awful show they advertise during AI, Moment of Truth... People destroying their lives and relationships for a few dollars. I get to serve the God of all heaven. If I want, if I'm willing to do what it takes, I could get to be close enough to Him to know what His most heartfelt desires!!! And is it too small a thing for me to be His servant.

John Brown was a simple Scotsman who served Queen Victoria at Balmoral Castle. Through his friendship and care he became one of the Queen's most trusted and privileged servants. How much greater my potential privilege.

God’s terrible insistence on human freedom is so absolute that He granted us the power to live as though He does not exist. Philip Yancey.

I read that in Our Daily Bread last week and thought of it again reading Isaiah 46 this week...

I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. Isa 46:10

I am still wrestling with the Sovereignty of God and human freedom and how they interplay. I am beginning to see that more often than not, I want God to grant me freedom, and then be Sovereign in those areas where I think He should.

Is this a common human struggle? Everyone else seems to have their act together. I still struggle to understand, to obey, to trust, to love the way I should. For now, in my weakness, I find I just say, do what You think is best in my life and help my unbelief. I often think of the man who said, Lord, if your willing... I try not to think of that too much. There are other reasons I suppose why God does not act, sin in my life, disobedience, lessons I need to learn, patience to be developed, but still, one would love to see clear, obvious, unmistakable , irrefutable answers to specific prayers. I guess I am not so much doubting as worrying... I guess fretting is still a sin, but I never realized what a worrier I am... My fellow small groupers say it's because I am controlling. I guess I am. That's something else I didn't really recognize till this last few months.... I mean, not really realized, like I am starting to...

Well, TRUTH... what can I hang onto in all my doubts and struggles? God is in control (I may not always like it or agree - but He's bigger and smarter than me by immeasurable contrast) God loves me. The Bible says so, the cross says so. He will never leave me. Life is short and heaven is forever. There is grace available to me for even the problem of doubt, if only I will accept it... My mind will be kept in perfect peace, if it is fixed on God...

Confessions...

Well... they say confession is good for the soul. One of my aspirations for this year was to read through the Bible in a year; this goal has gotten seriously derailed... If I can be honest, sometimes all the detail about the tabernacle and the sacrifices just is not that gripping to me! I feel like a terrible Christian for saying so, but it just doesn't move me. So if any of you pals who read this have read through the Bible in a year and have any words of wisdom or encouragement... I am open for a spiritual kick in the pants. :-) I've gotten into Leviticus now, I FINALLY made it out of Exodus, but I hardly read all week. When I try I just fall asleep. I reread the same few verses over and over trying to get the flow and just find the words swimming in front of me! HELP!

A real musical

Carol and I went to the GVSU Opera and Theater production of Ragtime. They did a wonderful job. What a wonderful, challenging show! It deals with the struggles of an Jewish immigrant, a black couple and a white family and how their unique struggles collide and bring their lives together.

Huzzah to the musicians and singers of the GVSU OT department. Absolutely grand.

Click to watch a video of the Broadway opening to the show...

following

I am a leader... in my home, in my marriage, at my work... at one time, in the church (though no more) but I need to follow before I can lead. I realize that though I may have claimed to be a Jesus follower for many years, I have only pretty much only done what I wanted to do...

If I am going to really lead, not just be the leader, but really lead, I need to learn to be a better follower... Jesus' disciples followed him for over three years and still had quite a bit of learning to do when it came to their leadership roles.

I want to try and examine Jesus' leadership methods, his management style, and try to begin to pattern my efforts after his example.

O my soul

Does anyone else just feel absolutely inept at rearing children??? I love my kids so much but I feel absolutely incompetent... You do your best to lead with gentleness and servant leadership and end up getting walked all over...

How does one teach gratitude, humility, respect, kindness...

I am at a loss... this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

My bucket list

Okay... So thinking about the Bucket List I came up with my sort of top 25 things to do before I die... What's on your list?

1. Bungee Jump, sky dive or hang-glide
2. Read the Bible cover to cover
3. Be in a real play
4. Take dance lessons
5. Ride a camel in the desert
6. Own a motorcycle
7. Learn to play a musical instrument with some skill
8. Get passionate about a cause and spend time making a difference
9. Raft the Grand Canyon
10. Make a pilgrimage to Belfast
11. Become Debt Free
12. Visit every continent
13. Paint an oil painting worth framing
14. Shoot a gun
15. Go to a real Broadway play
16. See Stonehenge
17. Get a tattoo
18. Swim the Dead Sea
19. Swim or shower under a waterfall
20. Be an extra in a movie
21. Write a letter to an editor
22. Visit all 50 states
23. Swim in every ocean
24. Attend one great sporting event
25. Go gambling

A New Year's Prayer

Gentle, yet Almighty God
I slip into your presence this New Year's morn

To thank you for a year gone by…
For every gorgeous sunrise and the fullness they brought my heart
For the scent of summer flowers and of a woman's perfume
That left me feeling heady and breathless
I thank you for beauty - the beauty of creation in all its forms

I thank you that the year is past…
With every misspoken word and hurtful deed
Every doubt and fear and sorrow that tore at my soul
And left me wounded and weeping
I thank you that the past - is the past

I thank you for the wheel and the fire
Potter's tools that sometimes left me dizzy
Or feeling scorched or brittle or dry
But were really shaping and forming me
I thank you for seeing me - not as I am, but as you are making me

I thank you for friends…
For old friendships renewed and new friendships born
For arms that hold, and hearts that hope
And promises to pray - and unconditional love
I thank you for the future - and the friends who will walk with me there.