Cow droppings

do you ever feel like a giant cow dropping? sometimes life can be so overwhelming, things happen or people say things to you or about you and it makes you feel about as loved as a pile of steaming cow dung.

It is weird what a roller coaster life can be. Tonight I went out to a coffee shop and wow, the sunset was so breath taking. I just felt absolutely stunned and compelled to worship... But a few hours later the cynicism and criticism I was experiencing felt like a physical thing... I could literally feel the joy and peace and contentment being sucked out of me. I simply had to remove myself from the situation.

So here I sit... wanting to recall that sunset... wanting to recall the breathless feeling that filled my chest that a thing, a created thing could be so lovely, so powerful that words or pictures would not do it justice.

It turned my thoughts to the Creator. If this night, this sunset, could be so beautiful; what must the Creator look like? The clouds in an indescribable shade of pinkish, orangish, mauve swept up from the horizon. The sun was not visible at all, only the effect of it on the clouds. I thought about the songs of the angels and creatures described in the Bible... They surround the throne of the King and their praise, their strong, majestic voices sweeps up into the sky above the throne like those clouds. I wonder if like northern lights the beauty of their songs, the beauty of the voices colors the sky, rippling and billowing like a high sail...

And if the angels and the creatures who see the King are so full of His songs, so full of His praises... why am I so earth bound? So distracted and manipulated by the mean spiritedness of my fellow man...

I wonder what God in His heaven must look like if His created earth is so beautiful... I can't wait to see Him and find out.